October 9th
Teacher Arrested
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today atJohn F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board aflight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square,& aslide rule. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said
he believes the man is a member of thenotorious "Al-gebra" movement. He did not identify the man, who hasbeen charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction."Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutionsby means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search ofabsolute values.They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominatorof the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As theGreek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say, 'There are 3 sides to everytriangle'."When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God hadwanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would havegiven us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reportersthey could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by thePresident.
Confidence
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!" "Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?""Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight" Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.""Arrey O! Main kya... "Said Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again."Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, and the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!""And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh" Saddam asked."Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor."Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.""Oh teri ...." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back to you."Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day."Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!" Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surro unded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring you back."Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day."Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart""Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!" Now that's what is called CONFIDENCE!!!
Quotes
I am the oldest driver in the field. I can live with that. Fortunately, I'm not the slowest. -- Michael Schumacher after winning the Chinese Grand Prix.
Without Pakistan , you ( the US ) would be brought down to knees-- Pervez Mushraf Pakistan President
We will start Art of Living classes for farmers prone to suicide so that they are postive-- Vilas Rao Desmukh Maharastra CM
Punjab
You can live it up even if you are over the hill; if you live in Chandigarh, that is. The speciality restaurant, Dera at the Taj Hotel came up with an offer for oldies; a discount corresponding to their age on Gandhi Jayanthi . What about when the 102 year old Das turned up for lunch. Family in tow ? It offered meal on the house and a gift ( to make up for that extra 2 % )
Kerla
For Gopalakrishnan and Thangamani of Paravur in Kollam, their home is literally their universe, or at least, their solar system. Their sonsa are called Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Their daughter is Venus. And like the recently lost planet of the solar system, Pluto is the only one who lives away from home !
UP
It is time to learn that a kilogram of sand a day can also keep the doctors at bay. If Lucknow's Octogenarian Ram Rati is to be believed, this new fitness mantra has kept her fit and fine for fur decades. She gets up at Four in the morning, says prayers and then eats sand before breakfast. She also eats sand before lunch and tea in the evening. And for some variety , she sometimes roasts it..
Formula 1
It was disappointing for Schmi and Ferrari-- Schmi was having a dream race as he lead till 17 laps to go in front of Alonso of Renault in the Japanese GP-- And then the Ferrari engine blew throwing him out of the race and losing mileage in the build up for the championship-- Alonso is in a better position to retain his title with just one race to go in Brazil that will end the 2006 season-- Schmi showed great leadership after the engine blow out-- As he came back to the Ferrari garage and pit station, he walked round and shook hands / embraced each mechanic just to keep the morale up-- Did not show any of his disappointment-- he drove well but the engine failed -- He did not want his team to worry about the engine failure-- He wanted them to get ready for the last race -- Whatever happens in the concluding race, Schmi will leave his unmistakable stamp on the F1 races as a great legend --
Hope you guys had a good week end
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today atJohn F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board aflight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square,& aslide rule. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said
he believes the man is a member of thenotorious "Al-gebra" movement. He did not identify the man, who hasbeen charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction."Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutionsby means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search ofabsolute values.They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominatorof the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As theGreek philanderer, Isosceles, used to say, 'There are 3 sides to everytriangle'."When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God hadwanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would havegiven us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reportersthey could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by thePresident.
Confidence
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!" "Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?""Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight" Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.""Arrey O! Main kya... "Said Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again."Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, and the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!""And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh" Saddam asked."Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor."Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.""Oh teri ...." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back to you."Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day."Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!" Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surro unded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring you back."Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day."Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart""Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!" Now that's what is called CONFIDENCE!!!
Quotes
I am the oldest driver in the field. I can live with that. Fortunately, I'm not the slowest. -- Michael Schumacher after winning the Chinese Grand Prix.
Without Pakistan , you ( the US ) would be brought down to knees-- Pervez Mushraf Pakistan President
We will start Art of Living classes for farmers prone to suicide so that they are postive-- Vilas Rao Desmukh Maharastra CM
Punjab
You can live it up even if you are over the hill; if you live in Chandigarh, that is. The speciality restaurant, Dera at the Taj Hotel came up with an offer for oldies; a discount corresponding to their age on Gandhi Jayanthi . What about when the 102 year old Das turned up for lunch. Family in tow ? It offered meal on the house and a gift ( to make up for that extra 2 % )
Kerla
For Gopalakrishnan and Thangamani of Paravur in Kollam, their home is literally their universe, or at least, their solar system. Their sonsa are called Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. Their daughter is Venus. And like the recently lost planet of the solar system, Pluto is the only one who lives away from home !
UP
It is time to learn that a kilogram of sand a day can also keep the doctors at bay. If Lucknow's Octogenarian Ram Rati is to be believed, this new fitness mantra has kept her fit and fine for fur decades. She gets up at Four in the morning, says prayers and then eats sand before breakfast. She also eats sand before lunch and tea in the evening. And for some variety , she sometimes roasts it..
Formula 1
It was disappointing for Schmi and Ferrari-- Schmi was having a dream race as he lead till 17 laps to go in front of Alonso of Renault in the Japanese GP-- And then the Ferrari engine blew throwing him out of the race and losing mileage in the build up for the championship-- Alonso is in a better position to retain his title with just one race to go in Brazil that will end the 2006 season-- Schmi showed great leadership after the engine blow out-- As he came back to the Ferrari garage and pit station, he walked round and shook hands / embraced each mechanic just to keep the morale up-- Did not show any of his disappointment-- he drove well but the engine failed -- He did not want his team to worry about the engine failure-- He wanted them to get ready for the last race -- Whatever happens in the concluding race, Schmi will leave his unmistakable stamp on the F1 races as a great legend --
Hope you guys had a good week end
Comments