June 23rd
Some quotes
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. -
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. -
He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. -
The adventurous world of e-mails
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
Including that person who told me about rat shit in envelope glue, because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny Brown), who is about to die in hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
In fact, I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.
I fondly remember that senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wanted to split $7million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers get answered only if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I can no longer buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my bum..
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next five minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in- law's second husband's cousin's beautician's nephew.
By the way.a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Cheers and happy e-mailing.
Formula one Racing- French Grand Prix
The Ferraris were dominant in the practice session and lined up for the Sunday Race on the front row- It was clear that the Ferraris had the aero dynamics and the settings to handle the Magny Cours circuit- All the other teams simply did not have the technical stuff in their cars to support the circuit- Hamilton had a race that he will like to forget- first he was docked ten places for the accident he created at the Canadian GP two weeks back -- and as he fought to go up the standings for the current race , his overtaking methods drew the Stewards attentions and he was handed a " drive through penalty " that probably killed any chances of him getting any points in this race - Raikonen led the race till the 32nd of the 70 lap race till he had a exhaust pipe problem that allowed his compatriot Massa to take the lead and win the race - inspite of the problem , Raikonen still managed to finish second which showed the dominance of the Ferrari- With Massa winning he is the championship leader and there is a good chance for him to look at the Championship title although there is enough races to go-- As I wrote last week , the field is still open for at least four people to fight out from different cars and that is interesting
Moto GP
The reigning world champion Casey Stoner of Australia and Team Ducati had a quiet season so far-- he had started the season with winning in Qatar but after that for six races leading to the British Moto GP this week end , he was far from the champion driver that he was in the last season-- this had enables Rossi to climb up and lead the table -- But at the British GP Stoner showed he had class and the Ducati was back to its winning ways-- Stoner won by a handsome distance and time and one could see the Ducati straight line speed line up against the Honda's and the Yamaha's -- this was what won Stoner and Ducati the title in 2007-- With more than ten more races to go , with this performance we can expect some catching up by Stoner on Rossi and Pedrosa who are in the front-
Euro 2008
Will keep it for the next week
An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. -
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. -
He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. -
The adventurous world of e-mails
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
Including that person who told me about rat shit in envelope glue, because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny Brown), who is about to die in hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
In fact, I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.
I fondly remember that senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wanted to split $7million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers get answered only if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I can no longer buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my bum..
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next five minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in- law's second husband's cousin's beautician's nephew.
By the way.a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Cheers and happy e-mailing.
Formula one Racing- French Grand Prix
The Ferraris were dominant in the practice session and lined up for the Sunday Race on the front row- It was clear that the Ferraris had the aero dynamics and the settings to handle the Magny Cours circuit- All the other teams simply did not have the technical stuff in their cars to support the circuit- Hamilton had a race that he will like to forget- first he was docked ten places for the accident he created at the Canadian GP two weeks back -- and as he fought to go up the standings for the current race , his overtaking methods drew the Stewards attentions and he was handed a " drive through penalty " that probably killed any chances of him getting any points in this race - Raikonen led the race till the 32nd of the 70 lap race till he had a exhaust pipe problem that allowed his compatriot Massa to take the lead and win the race - inspite of the problem , Raikonen still managed to finish second which showed the dominance of the Ferrari- With Massa winning he is the championship leader and there is a good chance for him to look at the Championship title although there is enough races to go-- As I wrote last week , the field is still open for at least four people to fight out from different cars and that is interesting
Moto GP
The reigning world champion Casey Stoner of Australia and Team Ducati had a quiet season so far-- he had started the season with winning in Qatar but after that for six races leading to the British Moto GP this week end , he was far from the champion driver that he was in the last season-- this had enables Rossi to climb up and lead the table -- But at the British GP Stoner showed he had class and the Ducati was back to its winning ways-- Stoner won by a handsome distance and time and one could see the Ducati straight line speed line up against the Honda's and the Yamaha's -- this was what won Stoner and Ducati the title in 2007-- With more than ten more races to go , with this performance we can expect some catching up by Stoner on Rossi and Pedrosa who are in the front-
Euro 2008
Will keep it for the next week
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